LGBT CIVIL & HUMAN RIGHTS MOVEMENT OF THE NEW CENTURY : How NOT to handle yourKid's Coming Out

Thursday, August 28, 2014

How NOT to handle your
Kid's Coming Out

Warning: High Drama, Tough Emotional Trauma
(though certainly not the worst)

1 comment:

G. Franklin, PublisherAugust 28, 2014 at 12:02 PM
The Advocate ‏@TheAdvocateMag 55m

To all honorees: @DylanGLC asked, "What did you think of the video 'How Not to React To Your Child Coming Out'?" #advocate4040

Retweeted by The Advocate
R.J. Aguiar ‏@rj4gui4r 53m
@TheAdvocateMag @DylanGLC I was obviously shocked and appalled. Sadly, I hear stories like that all the time from subs. #advocate4040
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God's law stands against gay marriage says N. Ward

Pope Francis warns church to be sensitive ministering to children of gay couples

A US evangelist has spoken out against the Pope’s recent softening on gay issues to say that he is “not the judge” on such issues. Franklin Graham, the son of evangelist Billy Graham, made the comments during NBC’s Meet the Press on Sunday.

Speaking to reporters in July during a plane journey back to the Vatican following his trip to Brazil, Pope Francis said that gay people should not be judged or marginalized and should be integrated into society. He said: “If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge them?”

Graham responded to say: “I think he’s right when he says he’s not the judge,… He’s not the judge. God is the judge.” He said he felt that homosexuality was a sin, and that he had felt compelled to express that view. He went on to say that he would not shift on the issue. “God would have to shift — and God doesn’t,” he said. “God’s word is the same, yesterday and today and a million years from now.”

Speaking of his father, now 95, he said: “He’s very weak. His vitals are good, and he’s eating a little bit,” Graham said, “but he’s just extremely weak.”

In November, US President Barack Obama said he had been “hugely impressed” by Pope Francis’ recent remarks admitting the Roman Catholic Church was “obsessed” with preaching about abortion, same-sex marriage and contraception.

Bishop Melvin Talbert joined 13 other United Methodist bishops at a gathering on May 4 outside the 2012 United Methodist General Conference in Tampa, Florida, where they showed their support for clergy in the denomination who choose to officiate at religious weddings of same-sex couples. Doing so is a violation of church rules, but Talbert said he preferred Biblical obedience even if it meant ecclesiasical disobedience. Photo by Paul Jeffrey/courteys UMNS

The council asked its president, Bishop Rosemarie Wenner, and Bishop Debra Wallace-Padgett of the North Alabama Conference, to file a complaint accusing Talbert of undermining the ministry of a colleague and conducting a ceremony to celebrate the wedding of a same-gender couple at Covenant Community United Church of Christ in Center Point, Ala.

Talbert, who served as bishop of the San Francisco area, ignored a request not to perform the ceremony. He has said in the past that the church’s position on homosexuality “is wrong and evil … it no longer calls for our obedience.” The council’s statement, made after a weeklong series of meetings in North Carolina, comes as the church’s disagreement over ministry to gays and lesbians grows divisive and vocal.

It’s unclear if Talbert, who is the only United Methodist bishop known to have publicly presided at a same-sex wedding, will actually be charged. The Western Jurisdiction College of Bishops would receive the complaint and have authority for processing it. That jurisdiction, which stretches from Colorado to Hawaii and from Alaska to Arizona, overwhelmingly passed a resolution in July 2012 that says the church “is in error” on homosexuality and will operate as if the teaching does not exist.

In its statement, the Council of Bishops acknowledged the denomination is “not of one mind in matters of human sexuality.” The council also called for a task force to lead “honest and respectful conversations regarding human sexuality, race and gender in a worldwide perspective.”

John Lomperis, Methodist program director of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, praised the Council of Bishops for urging action against Talbert. “When individuals choose to accept election as bishop, they choose to make a covenant with God and the rest of the church to uphold our code of conduct,” he said in an email. “And if our bishops cannot be trusted to not lie to God and the church, we have no basis left for unity as a denomination.”

Matt Berryman, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network, which affirms gays, said the council is attempting to silence Talbert. “The Council of Bishops has showed a lack of leadership by saying the only way forward is by putting on trial those clergy who can no longer follow discriminatory, unjust laws that limit their ministry with specific members of our church because of their sexual orientation,” Berryman said in a statement.

This is available for Web and print publication. For questions, contact Sally Morrow.

By Kathy L. Gilbert*

The Rev. Frank Schaefer says he is not ready to give up on The United Methodist Church and will immediately seek an appeal of a decision to take away his ministerial credentials.

The United Methodist Eastern Pennsylvania Annual (regional) Conference’s board of ordained ministry made the decision Dec. 19, to follow through with a church trial’s penalty to ask Schaefer to surrender his credentials if he cannot uphold the denomination’s lawbook “in its entirety.”

Even this morning as he was on his way to hear what the decision would be, Schaefer said, he was hopeful. “Brigitte (his wife) told me my hands were shaking when we got in the car this morning,” he said.

Schaefer and his legal counsel will announce the plans for an appeal in a news conference this afternoon. Schaefer said the trial court’s ruling asked him to surrender his credentials, which he refused to do.

“I really don’t think they have the power to take them because the trial court said it was up to me to give them up,” he said. The next step will be for the appeal to go to the Northeastern Jurisdictional Committee on Appeals.

General Council on Finance and Administration “the committee on appeals’ examination is limited to determining whether or not the weight of the evidence sustains the conviction and whether or not errors were committed that effectively vitiate the conviction. The decision made here is essentially final, aside from a narrow right to appeal to the Judicial Council on the basis of procedural errors.”

Schaefer’s fate was announced on the same day New Mexico became the 17^th state to legalize same-sex marriage. With the changing laws have come more challenges to The United Methodist Church’s stance on homosexuality.

Rev. Stephen Heiss, a pastor in the Upper New York Annual (regional) Conference, will likely face a church trial for officiating at the same-sex ceremony of his daughter in 2002 and more such unions since New York legalized same-sex marriage in 2011.

Two other United Methodist clergy have had formal complaints filed against them and could face trials in 2014.

The Rev. Thomas Ogletree, a retired seminary dean and elder in the New York Conference, is facing a formal complaint after officiating at the same-sex wedding of his son in 2012. Some clergy filed the complaint against Ogletree after his son’s wedding announcement appeared in The New York Times

The Rev. Sara Thompson Tweedy, also in the New York Conference, is facing a formal complaint that she is a “self-avowed practicing” lesbian, a chargeable offense under church law.

Schaefer was found guilty by a trial court of fellow ordained clergy on Nov. 19 of violating the church’s law against clergy by performing the same-sex wedding ceremony for his son and another man. The trial court penalty was to suspend him for 30 days to discern and decide if he could uphold the United Methodist Book of Discipline in its entirety.

“Rev. Schaefer met with the board of ordained ministry today and declared that he is not willing or able to uphold the laws of the Book of Discipline in its entirety in the future as required by the trial court’s verdict,” said Bishop Peggy Johnson, episcopal leader of the conference.

Johnson said when asked to surrender his credentials, Schaefer refused to do so. The board then deemed his credentials surrendered, she said.

At a news conference at Arch Street United Methodist Church Dec. 16, Schaefer said, “I cannot uphold the United Methodist Book of Discipline in its entirety. In fact I don’t believe anyone can.”

Schaefer said he would not voluntarily surrender his ordination credentials because he feels called to represent, minister and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

In an interview with United Methodist News Service after Schaefer’s news conference Dec. 16, Johnson said, “My overall feeling is that this is very sad. I can’t believe we have been on this journey for nothing; somewhere God is going to use all the hearts and efforts for some good purpose down the line. This is the God we serve. It is Good Friday and Easter Sunday. We got the Good Friday, so come on Easter. I know it is Christmas but we are Easter people.”

Schaefer and 44 Philadelphia United Methodist pastors signed a letter they sent to Johnson asking her to “lead us boldly” as an advocate for all LBGT members. The clergy members asked her to acknowledge that “some statements in our Book of Discipline are discriminatory and that we need a time to engage in a process of discernment, prayer and change.”

Johnson replied to that letter by saying “a good many statements in our Book of Discipline are positive and nondiscriminatory.” She also said, however, that several statements are discriminatory.

In a statement Dec. 19, she said, “As one church of Jesus Christ, we must commit ourselves to engage in ongoing prayer and reflection, sensitive, peaceful dialogue and diligent study, so that we can better understand the needs and concerns of LGBT members and their broader community and so that we can more effectively and lovingly minister to all people in the name of Christ.”

Schaefer stated it was his hope he would be allowed to keep his credentials so he could be a voice for the LGBT community in The United Methodist Church.

“As long as there is a hope for an appeal, a reversal, I will stay with The United Methodist Church,” Schaefer said. “I will actually have to join a local church now because I am currently finding myself without a spiritual home. As a minister your membership comes through the conference and if they take your credentials then you are really not a member of The United Methodist Church.”

In an interview with United Methodist News Service, Dec. 15, Brigitte Schaefer and their daughter, Debbie, talked about one more hopeful thing for the family.

“If his credentials are taken away it will be the first time in 20 years we can all be together for Christmas Eve. Dad won’t have to work,” Debbie said. The Schaefers have four children, Tim, 30, Debbie, 28, Kevin, 23 and Pascal, 19.

* Gilbert is a multimedia reporter for the young adult content team at United Methodist Communications, Nashville, Tenn. Contact her at (615) 742-5470.

The Reverend Frank Schaefer,an Elder in the Eastern Pennsylvania Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church, and Pastor at Lebanon's Iona United Methodist Church is the man who presided over his gay son's wedding in 2007. He was just recently brought up on church charges for that violation of the U.M. Book of Discipline and suspended for 30 days, during which time he was to consider whether or not he could find it within himself to be obedient to the Book of Discipline. The 30 days is now complete and apparently Pastor Schaefer cannot find it within himself to vow, for a second time, his obedience to that Discipline.

Rev. Schaefer held a news conference today, Monday, Dec. 16, 2013, to announce that he could no longer go back to the discriminatory ways demanded by the Discipline. The United Methodist Discipline is undoubtedly contradictory in its statements and concepts with regard to members having a gay orientation. For example, the United Methodist church accepts gay and lesbian members but rejects the practice of homosexuality as "incompatible with Christian teaching."

Schaefer explained a part of his unwillingness to be reconciled with the Book of Discipline is that of his four children, three are gay. He is scheduled to meet with church officials Thursday about his future and says he doesn't know what will happen next. He mentioned that he has been contacted by representatives of the Episcopal Church and the United Church of Christ, although that has not yet been verified.

Jon Boger writes a lengthy letter to editor in the Lebanon Daily News highly critical of the methodology and conduct of Rev. Schaefer and particularly as it relates with the Reconciling Congregation Ministries (RCM) program and their agenda with Rev. Schaefer. He apparently did considerable consulting with RCM, according to Mr. Boger.

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Thursday, August 28, 2014

How NOT to handle yourKid's Coming Out

1 comment:

How NOT to handle your
Kid's Coming Out